I know this is a horrible thing to say or even think, but sometimes I truly feel like I have too many friends. Now, don't get me wrong because every single one of my hundreds of friends are wonderful in all their own ways and there's nothing wrong with them or having them, it's just that sometimes I feel so very overwhelmed:
with staying in contact with them
keeping up on the stories of their lives
comforting them
letting them know that I care
sending birthday cards
going to weddings and showers
remembering girlfriends' or boyfriends' names
and sometimes even remembering what state they live in these days...the list goes on and on. We all know that I am just one of these people who LIKES to care, who THRIVES on caring, but now that I am home and I am so close to so many of those people I had lost touch with I am finding it hard to fit th
em all in. I feel horrible because I haven
't texted Liz to see how she is recovering from her breakup, or texted Molly to make sure she's not freaking out about her pregnancy, or Heather to see how her first week of work went...and then there's planning Molly's baby shower and spending time with mom and driving to see Linda becaus
e she is so sick and remembering that Diana and Bryan and Rhea are only here for the summer and I STILL haven't spent time with any of them. OH and was it really 2 months ago that Jessica, Scottie, Robert and I had dinner and pro
mised to do it again soon?!I just feel like I am being pulled in so many directions! And I feel so bad that I'm not being that best and awesome friend that I always used to be. Emily says that, if they really needed me, t
hey would call ME....so I shouldn't worry and should only do what I can and not stress about it, but, when I need someone th
e most, I always felt guilty asking them for help so I wouldn't call them. I want to be the one that reaches out, remembers, and helps!Being married makes it so very different because, despite my
love for all my friends and family, my life with Robert comes first...and work gets in the way a lot too. Really, all I want to do is spend time with my 5 best girl friends, my husband, and my 4 cats, and maybe go out a couple times a month to experience something new. Is that so much to ask?The problem I'm having is letting GO of that feeling of guilty that I can so easily fall into...
but, really, THEY aren't calling me either, are they?
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1 comment:
I felt like that when I lived in LA - I was able to spend a lot of time with my friends and yet it always felt like it wasn't enough. We had a core group, and we always joked that one day we'd all move to a commune and live together, eat all our meals together, etc. Now I only see them once a year, or less. :-( So just be thankful that you're near them all, and can see them when possible. Try to drop the guilt - it's not a very productive emotion!
Love you, sis.
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