Tuesday, October 6, 2009

MAYBEs


So, it's been an interesting transition into Fall...it's the first time I've done it in a really long time and I'm not sure if how I'm feeling is because of the difference there or because of all the things that are going on right now or what...I don't really feel like any of the things that we are thinking about are stressful, but I do wonder if maybe my body is responding to the stress even if my mind doesn't. I've got the stress in my shoulders and the urge to eat junk and my shaking has gotten worse again. Is it the change of seasons? Or is it: 1) Maybe going to school next year? 2) Maybe moving to Orono to GO to school? 3) Maybe having to transfer to the Brewer store if I move to Orono? 4) Maybe buying a house in the spring? 5) Maybe having to drive further than I originally planned to work every day if we DO buy a house? 6) Maybe having to drive to school and take 5 years for a 2 year program? 7) Maybe having Robert travel to work...4 months on 2 months off? 8) Maybe because winter is on its way and I'm nervous about driving in the snow? 9) Maybe because I'm not getting very motivated to workout at all? 10) Maybe because I'm not a very confrontational department manager and I just want to yell at my guys and MAKE them do what I tell them to sometimes? 11) Maybe because Robert's parents are visiting this week? 12) Maybe because I don't KNOW where I really want to buy a house and I'm frightened by all the factors that come with buying one? 13) Maybe because I DON'T want to move to Orono to go to school? 14) Maybe because I might LIKE to transfer to another store but there aren't any in areas that I LIKE? 15) Maybe I JUST DON'T KNOW... That's a lot of maybes...but I'm not going to have an answer to many of them for MONTHS and I have to be okay with that. I feel like I'm okay with it but I DO still have the stress in my shoulders and that fluttery almost excited feeling in my stomach almost all the time. Hmmm. It's interesting to think about.