Weekly...well, Memories: THUNDERCATS

Okay, so I'm stealing Janet's "Friday Flashback" idea, except I don't have a clever name and I'm not constricting myself to a day because who knows if I'll follow an actual schedule.
My brain is the type that has thoughts and images constantly floating around in it. I hate the idea that all these little things are disappearing from my memory as I grow, so, whatever memories come to me-good, bad, or even made up ones (because I really DO think I have made some of these things up) will be recorded here. I want feedback from anyone who was present for the memories because I'd like to know if I'm getting them right. I hope I don't offend anyone or let out something that wasn't supposed to be shared, but I'm going to try to stay strictly to the idea that these are MY memories and I want to remember them!So, here's a Silly one brought on by Robert: he has decided to call Jade (our Maine kitty) his "Thundercat". At first I payed no attention, but realized lately that the name sounds familiar and asked Robert where it came from. He said, "Don't you remember? THUNDERCATS-HO!" And I DID remember watching this cartoon! I don't know if it was reruns that I watched or the original shows, but I do remember the images from the opening of the show...so, now my Jade is my Thundercat: part human, part tough looking fighter cat:).

improvement

So, I'm feeling better. I'm still twitchy-especially my left hand, which makes it hard to type and write, but my attitude is improving and I even made a trip to Robert's parents' house to take a jacuzzi bath, which is something I wouldn't do in one of BEST moods. I'm not sure if it's the anxiety meds or just finally getting rested up or going back to work on Saturday and being met with so much encouragement.

It was actually a pretty amazing feeling to go back and have so many of my co-workers ask me how I am and offer to come over to the department to help me if I needed it. I was really surprised by the people who approached me. I wasn't really surprised by the people who brushed off "anxiety" as something that really wasn't an excuse. My store manager told me I need to get on an exercise program and that will solve my problems.:) I understand the positive effects of exercise and I know i would feel much better if I did it more often-very beneficial in so many ways-but getting myself home from work, fed, and showered doesn't leave much time for working out. I am not making excuses, I know I should find time, but it is hard! And anxiety is REAL, people! I'm not crazy and I'm not weak, I'm just OVERWHELMED! Don't make me feel bad because you can handle it better than me! But, the little bit of negative energy I got was totally turned around when I was standing at the schedule in the back, writing in my 2 new employees (yes, TWO) and explaining Mondays projects to my new zone manager: I finished my explanation and he turned to me and said, "Lane, I'm really going to miss you." It was so nice.

So, yes, I'll be okay.

Favorite words...

I have been re-reading my favorite series of books: The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. And I have admitted, once and for all, that I have fallen in love with the real-life version of Jamie Fraser. I found a few interesting sections in the 4th book that really just show how I feel about Robert and mirror our relationship so well, so I wanted to put them out there for my memory.

From "Drums of Autumn":

"You are my heart and I your compassion. We are neither of us whole, alone."
------------------------------------------------

..."I'm not afraid of any of that," I blurted out. "I'm afraid you'll die, and I can't stand it if you do, Jamie, I really can't!"
He jerked back a little,e surprised, and looked down into my face.
"Well, I'll do my best to oblige ye, Sassenach," he said, "but ye ken I may not have all the say in the matter." His face was serious, but one corner of his mouth curled up irrepressibly. The sight did me in utterly.
"Don't you laugh!" I said furiously. "don't you dare laugh!"
"Oh, I'm not," he assured me, trying to straighten his face.
"You are!" I punched him in the chest. Now he was laughing. I punched him again, harder, and before I knew it, was hammering him in earnest, my fists making small dull thumps against his plaid. He grabbed for my hand, but I ducked my head and bit him on the thumb. He let out a cry and jerked his hand away.
He examined the toothmarks for a moment, then looked at me, one eyebrow raised. The humor lingered in his eyes, but at least he'd stopped laughing, the bastard.
"Sassenach, y've seen me damn near dead a dozen times, and not turned a hair. Whyever are ye takin' on so now, and me not even ill?"
"Never turned a hair?!" I gawked at him in furious amazement. "You think I wasn't upset?!"
He rubbed a knuckle across his upper lip, eyeing me in some amusement.

Ok, so this section is way longer than I thought and way harder to type up when trying to hold a fat book open...maybe I'll get more of it in later. But, even this small section totally shows a moment in our lives.:)

Maggie Lane Knowles' first photo!

Here's the first photo from the hospital! Yeah! Look at those chubby cheeks!

Welcome Maggie Lane Knowles!

Well, it's official, Heather and Jason FINALLY brought Maggie Lane Knowles into the world on Monday night! Born January 19th, 2009, she is 17inches and 7lbs 8ounces (almost 8lbs anyway). She is adorable with big pudgy cheeks and an adorable coo! After almost 2 weeks of contractions we are all glad that she is here and I am SO proud of Heather for doing it all naturally (except for the inducement, anyway:))! I'll post photos as soon as I can!

Feeling Odd

First off, I'm not writing this so my moms will call and ask me if I'm okay!
Secondly, it's not that I'm not okay, it's just that I'm feeling weird. I'm tired, but not sore, I'm spacey, but not necessarily sleepy. I don't want to do anything, but I'm bored. I want to eat one minute when I don't need to, but I don't want to eat when I'm actually hungry and sometimes I feel nauseas, oh, and I have the WORST heartburn I have had in a long time. I couldn't make myself go to work on Monday and made it in to work, but had to leave on Tuesday (Which is fine because we are just doing inventory and I can't work in my department anyway). I also just really want to cry, at anything!
No, I'm not pregnant! And I'm pretty sure it's not mono because, wouldn't I be more tired (although I have been sleeping 12-18 hours the last few days)? I just don't know what it is?
~~It could be stress...after all these resets and having no people to work in my department, maybe my body just said "AH! That's enough!"
~~Or it could be the massage that I got on Saturday...they say that they release a lot of toxins, right?
~~Or maybe it's just because my body's not used to having so much weight on it...although, being this tired makes it REALLY hard for me to get up and get on the treadmill-even when I have energy I use it all up at work.
I'm just a little freaked out by this because I've never felt like this before. I've been depressed before and it doesn't quite feel the same and I'm not sniffling or having headaches...it's almost like a really slow, really long panic attack. I guess I'm going to go to the doctor's tomorrow just in case it is mono or something ridiculous.

Jury Duty-Mississippi Style

So, here I am, living in MS for my 3rd year, having been a registered voter the entire time, then I vote and BANG I'm called up for Jury duty! I'm not so upset about the idea of going to jury duty as to the fact that I have ONE other person to work my department if I get picked because one of my employees is on vacation and, well, I Just don't HAVE any other ones! So, I go in with the other 130 people (one of whom is another employee from my Lowes) and watch a bunch of them get excused. I think, well, this may not be monetarily detrimental to me or my business, but I'll give it a shot and see if they'll let me go because I have a lack of people to work my department and because I have interviews to do this week...let's just say it's a no go.:( They said, "Why don't you just stay...there's no guarantee that you will get picked." (NOTE: DO NOT fall for this one next time)

I try to enjoy the knowledge that this new experience might bring to my life despite the strain on my time and my department. I decided to take some notes on my experience. The only other courtrooms I have been in were in California, so my comparisons aren't really well versed, but we all have ideas in our heads, right? The courtroom we were being picked in was in the OLD courthouse, so it was all scratched wood, but clean, official, and much like the courtrooms in John Grisham movies-plus a few plastic folding tables.:) The court room in California was so disorganized and tiny and crazy, while this one was big and beautiful and very much on schedule...of course, we weren't actually in session and it's circuit court too (maybe that makes a difference?). I Loved that we could actually hear the judge with an actual speaker system and the judge was so very "Southern" and gentlemanly too! It was so interesting to watch the circuit clerk and the sheriff greet all the folks that they know. The fact that the sheriff was there was really surprising too; he stayed for the calling of all the numbers and everything. Nice guy, Mr. Byrd.
I was surprised to hear the announcement that Pastor so and so was going to say a prayer before the proceedings started...I guess they get away with that in the South? Seems like this would not be normal practice, though. Maybe it's just odd to me because I am from the North. Hm. Overall I just had no idea that so many people were involved in the process of picking jurors! I ended up being #6 and the first group of 36 were to be involved with the Civil case as apposed to the Criminal case. I was a little disappointed, but I really didn't think I would get picked anyway, so I went along quietly, praying to be out by lunch...the case was about a contractual dispute, which I know nothing about, so I thought I would be home free, thankfully, because, when we made it into the courtroom in the new courthouse where we were going to be trying the case, I really didn't understand a whole lot of what the judge and lawyers were saying. The lawyers asked their questions and this one very tall, thin older woman from California kept standing up and saying all these hilarious things, like, when she was asked if her experience as a legal secretary would impede her judgment she said: "NO, I hope it would improve my abilities!" HILARIOUS! I only had to answer one of the 10 or 15 questions that the lawyers asked, so I figured I was back to work tomorrow...they called us back in and I was the 5th person they picked for the jury! DAMN!

While I tried to concentrate on all the boring interviews with the owners of the companies and NOT think about what wasn't getting done at work, I was wondering how we are supposed to be impartial. Where does a person's knowledge turn from just knowledge to affecting judgement on a case? How are we NOT to be biased or opinionated? Are they just talking about negative judgement? OR lack of knowledge? I just don't understand the whole process...or, I didn't until, after just 2 days of court, we all went in to deliberate. THEN It all made sense, because the collection of knowledge, emotions, practicalities, and translation of fact all comes together as the jury deliberates. It was SO interesting to listen to everyone and to find that, despite the fact that I know nothing about construction or contracts, I was one of the ones speaking up and making sense! Overall, it was a great experience, it didn't actually interfere with my work because I used it as my 2 days off, and I feel like I have done a service to our country and fairly ended a dispute between 2 people (who were really very stupid and needed to be suing and completely different company TOGETHER rather than suing each other).
Another Life Experience.

Rock Me Sexy Jesus

So, this movie is interesting because the movie itself is funny, odd, but funny, and slightly touching, and really depressing in parts, but the POINT of the movie is that we can all come together and be ourselves and there will always be someone there to help us and support us and the people who crap on our lives will eventually disappear or come around. That's what I got from the movie...and I managed to ignore the character of Dana in his mental breakdown-ness and Katherine Keener (because I just don't like her) to come to those conclusions.

But the reason I loved this movie was because of the play that it revolved around. Unfortunately, the play doesn't even get shown that much except at the very end. The play is about all the things we hide from in the world-how we can find good in everything and how everything can be changed by whatever means we can find. It mocks religion, love, family, trust, rape...and everything you can think of. BUT it makes sure that the world knows that it's not cynicism, it's all about showing people NOT to be cynical! It's just awesome. I wish there really WAS a play called Hamlet 2 because it really revealed so MUCH!
Also, Elizabeth Shue was hilarious in her guest role..."that's the Crane." GREAT! I can see why it got a lot of bad reviews, but I am glad I saw past it and it woke me up from being sleepy-if a movie can do that then it is good!

"Boston Legal"

There is no way to explain how great this show is except for you to watch it. I was not sure that I really wanted to watch it after the first 2 episodes, but I decided to persevere and, despite the fact that I enjoyed the original cast better, I enjoy the writing even more in the 4th and 5th seasons. The 2007 season is so very amazing and the most politically articulate show I have ever watched. I Love the way that David E. Kelley is so completely honest about America, Racism, Radicalism, and the Ridiculous way in which so many people carry themselves. None of us and all of us are so very important...the point is that we are who we are TOGETHER and there is just no reason to hate, to war, to judge...because all it causes is more hate, war, and judging.
As Denny Crane said so clearly, "I don't care that Americans are hated so much by the rest of the world because much of the rest of the world just needs to be blown up-and not because they are not American and not because they are not white." It's because of the hate, the power, and the judging.
WATCH THIS SHOW.

A visit with an old friend

Well, one always thinks that, after the New Year, we have an opportunity to slow down, clean up, and take a deep breath. Not so in my case. I took New Years Day and the 2 days following as my last vacation days before our fiscal year runs out because tonight and tomorrow night I have to do overnights for inventory prep, then we inventory, and THEN we have to try to finish all our resets on time. Also, in between all of this I have to try to get Ryan to give me a new team leader! Talk about being busy!
Anyway, surprise of all surprises when I Get a phone call from my friend Jason on New Year's Eve to let me know that he, his wife, and their son are vacationing in Florida for the week-spur of the moment and all. Come to find out, we were only 3 hours from where they were staying, which was perfect since I Had 3 days off...so we went to visit them! Keep in mind that Jason and I haven't seen each other for, like, 6 years! I've never met his wife Katy or their son Andrew, so I was totally excited if not a little bit nervous because Katy and I haven't had the greatest relationship over the phone.:)

So, it was a lovely little trip over to Florida-turns out they were staying just West of Destin, which is where my sister Holly used to live, so it was easy to find...and SO beautiful where they were staying-like a little community within a community. And seeing Jason was great...we're the type of friends who can not see each other for 6 years and then sit down like we last saw each other yesterday. And Katy is really great and nice and we got along really well, I think, which was a huge relief for me. And ANDREW! WHAT a sweetheart! Troublemaker, no doubt, but SO beautiful and adorable and sweet. He even hugged us when we were leaving!

Overall it was an awesome little mini trip to see a great old friend...and I got to cross off a "Things to do before I die" experience too! Jason had rented "scooters" for the day for him and Katy, so he suggested we take one and they take one when we went to lunch...now, these, to me, were not just scooters-they were crotch rockets bikes as far as I was concerned and I was scared SHITLESS the entire time we were trying to find a restaurant to eat at! SERIOUSLY! Yes, it only topped out at 40mph, but that was PLENTY For me! I swear I sweated through all the clothes I had on and I kept feeling like we were wobbling all over the road-which we were, but mostly because I was shaking and wobbling the bike MYSELF (Robert didn't have the heart to tell me that I was the one making us wobble)! Good LORD! So, my "Thing to do before I die" was to ride a motorcycle, but I think that a "Scooter" was enough for me! Still, it was a lovely day in Florida, it was awesome to see Jason, Katy, and Andrew and we had a really good time. Seeing Jason brought back so many fond memories of Maine...

Oh, and we saw this bus on the way down to Florida...I'm sorry, it just was so funny!

Emma Faith rocks out

A funny little Christmas story...Emma Faith likes to dance~! The video doesn't do the live version justice, but still...