CHRISTMAS

I would like to mention, shortly, that Christmas was amazing and wonderful. I saw much of my family and friends here in Maine and I got everything my heart could desire and enjoyed giving everything I gave even more than the getting.:) But, the absolute joy of my Christmas holiday was the number of cards, photos, and letters that we received. I feel so loved and blessed and I love everyone so much that it makes my heart feel like it's going to burst. I HOPE that everyone I know and love knows that I think of them often and always love them and that, no matter how seldom we talk, or how far away we are, that we will always be together and I will never forget them! I have photos of so many of my nieces and nephews and Godchildren and other "nieces and nephews" on my fridge now that I don't quite now what to do except burst with pride. Isn't life wonderful?

Julie and Julia

I have fallen in love. This hasn't happened with me and a movie for a long time. There have been great movies, there have been movies that have touched me, been real to me, made me happy, made me sad, made me truly think about all the aspects of life, but, not since BEAUTIFUL GIRLS have I seen a movie that made me feel EVERYTHING I needed to feel and inspired me to do something that I never thought I would be able to do.

Now, I am not going to go and start my own cooking blog (although it DID cross my mind), but I have been given the idea that cooking can be a love, not a pressure or a disappointed. OR, more accurately, that cooking can be loved while still being a pressure and a disappointment.:) I don't know why it took a movie like this to make me see it considering how much both my husband and my mother love to cook, but it just did. And, still, I don't see myself coming home from a day of work and staying up until midnight waiting for a boeuf bourguignon to come out of the oven, but I may just find myself enjoying the idea of cooking a bit more when I think of the joy that both Julie an Julia got out of it.

The movie itself is amazing and real and lovely...seeing someone laying on the floor in the kitchen crying because they have dropped the chicken they are stuffing and it is splattered all over the floor...it made me feel like maybe I am not alone! Listening to Julie's husband talk about her meltdowns and her obsession and seeing the smile on her face when she served the wonderful dishes to her friends...it all made it real to me because, yes, I have had moments where I felt like sitting on the floor and crying because I just can't make it turn out right, and then, once it gets on the table, I have felt like the Queen of the Kitchen!
THE ACTORS:
Meryl Streep blew me away in this movie. Seriously, I'm not a fan of her's. I think she was on drugs for much of her career, but this movie and her portrayal of Julia Child were just so wonderful that I might have to give Meryl the benefit of the doubt.

Stanley Tucci played one of the best roles of his entire career in this movie: so quite, understated, yet entirely essential to the whole movie and the character of Julia. I have always loved this man-ever since he started doing Shakespeare, but I was so afraid he was going to get lost in the world of "deep" movies and now I have hope for him once again!

Jane Lynch was a surprise for me in this movie. For those who don't know-she is an amazing TV actress (who has done some movies) who has this incredibly dry, wry sense of humor that cuts like a knife. She plays Charlie Sheen's therapist on "Two and a half Men" and the cheerleading coach on "Glee" as well as many other funny parts. But here, in this movie as Dorothy (Julia's 6'5" tall sister), she comes alive and really really shows the ease and grace with which she can act. She fits so well next to Meryl Streep at the table that one would think she had been acting with that caliber of actors her entire career. I love her! She was so wonderful!

I think the question, really, is were all these people as wonderful as they were in the movie? Because, if they were, then the world is worth living in and there is definitely hope for the rest of us positive people to make a go of it.

And, I have come away from this with hope for more than cooking. I now feel like it might be possible to figure out and start and continue with the love of my life, the thing I truly want to do, without having to do it before I'm 30, without having to make a fuss, without having to be formally trained or published or doing it as a full time job. It IS possible to be who you want, do what you want, and still live and work in the every day. Maybe sometime I WILL write a book or maybe it will just be brilliant moments like these in my blog. Maybe someday I WILL be a certified Animal Doctor...or maybe I will run a non-profit kennel and know how to get grants for it. Who knows, but there ARE so many ways to find and do what you love without having to do it the way you are expected to, the way others think you should, or the way that is "conventional". And boy doesn't that just make me feel like it's all going to be okay!

On the bright side...

HAPPY HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I Love Christmas! Things are going well here...mom and Robert are on speaking terms, Luke came home for a visit, Deb likes her new job, Lindsey the younger came over for dinner last night, the Girls are awesome, PJ and I have been able to spend a little more time together, and I'm only slightly holiday stressed...this is good. Life is good.
Merry Merry and Happy Happy!

Thanksgiving

It has been five years since I Have been home for Thanksgiving. And here's the thing: up until I was 20 or so Thanksgiving, and all holidays, were a huge family affair with lots of food and love and very loud talking. I LOVED holidays with my family because mom was always the host and, even, when family wasn't getting along the Holiday was always the exception. 30 people in my house enjoying the talent of my mother's cooking and the love of family. It was awesome.
Unfortunately the family has gone its separate ways-partially, I think, because my mom has a big mouth and likes to be the center of attention and everyone got tired of it. There's much more to it: the family is bigger, there aren't as many kids, generations move on, etc, but MOM is a part of it.

And so came our Thanksgiving of 2009 which was enjoyed by myself, Robert, Mom, Buzz, Nam, Uncle Josh, and Uncle Adam. It was a nice little gathering, slightly reminiscent of the wonderous days of my childhood before I realized the dangers of my mother being in the same room as my aunts. Anyway, I spent the day helping my mother cook and get ready, which was awesome because I have rarely spent any time cooking with my mother and I did a really good job helping her! Dinner was great-gourmet, really, and the day got down to the minutes of PJs and drinks before bed...and, somehow, mom and Robert got into a fight about whether or not there should be Arts in a regular school day.

Now, here's the thing, Robert and I disagree about a lot of things, but I am not a pushy, outspoken person, so, when he gets on one of his rants I just smile and nod and know how I feel about it and that's enough. Mom, who is just as outspoken as Robert, if slightly less loud about it, wouldn't even think of backing down...so a quiet comment about our nephew Oliver making pies for Thanksgiving turned into a loud debate about whether or not kids should have art classes, which turned into an opinion match on who really understands what it's like to live down South and the type of people there and how they take advantage of the offerings made by the school systems (*I'm putting this nicely)...all this resulted in me leaving the room, going upstairs, and starting to pack my things because I knew what was coming next. The moment I left the room mom decided to pull out the big guns, starting with "Well, you lived down South and you and Lane are overweight..." which quickly snowballed into calling Robert an "uneducated, racist, bigot". Yeah. This is when we left.
I will give Robert credit for leaving before he said something horrible. Mom will give him no credit for leaving because she doesn't agree with his opinions and he POINTED HIS FINGER AT HER! Oh my. I knew this was coming because I know mom doesn't approve of me being married to Robert, she doesn't think he's good for me, and she feels like, eventually, I will marry someone else who will somehow help me develop my photography, writing, and have beautiful children with me. This is all despite the fact that I am happy with Robert, I don't want children, and my photography and writing are not the main focus in my life...I knew it all had to come out eventually, and the fact that it took almost 3 years is pretty impressive, I guess.
And so, on the way home, I realized that it is okay for me to be tired of all of this: tired of mom telling me I'm overweight, tired of her pushing my photography and writing EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS, tired of her disapproving of my life choices because she thinks I'm following her path! AND she called my husband horrible names! I WAS MAD!
*************************************************************
I waited a few days to let mom and Robert both cool off...in which time she called and left a message telling Robert to "let bygones be bygones and to have a smile on his face next time you see me." Sounded more like a threat than an apology. And I told her that yesterday. I also told her everything that I have been feeling for the last 10 years...and she listened and, after an hour, she finally said that she would think about it before she opened her mouth to give me "advice" or tell me the "truth" or to "say what needs to be said". And she said she would apologize to Robert. I just hope she can hold back any "advice" that she might want to give him so we can have her birthday dinner and Christmas together before Robert leaves for months.
The best part about our conversation, for me, was when I said, "I may make similar choices to those you made in YOUR life, but they're not the SAME choices. I will learn from them, they will make me happy (or sometimes sad), I will grow from them, but they are MY choices, not yours and my life is not the life that you have lived. I am not YOU, mom, no matter how much you think I am like you."
I hope it all works out. I know we can all move on, but the things she said to Robert were very hurtful and it's hard to forget that...no matter how much one lives in the moment.

Molly's Shower

Oh my, it's over and it was awesome. I think, despite the small turnout, that Pj, Heather and I threw a great shower. Props to Heather for jumping in at the end to help me and Pj...I don't think it would have come out as perfectly as it did if Heather hadn't helped.:) Pj made the most amazing lemon cake in the entire world! I must say my organizational skills helped out...and our combined favor making, food baking, decoration throwing efforts really just turned out great! I hope Molly liked it...I think she did. So, here are some photos of the event...Can't WAIT FOR GRIFFIN TO ACTUALLY GET HERE!
Oh, and
PS: take a look at this photo of Robert and PJ decorating the cake together at 6:30am on Saturday before the shower. HOW CUTE are they in their Pajama pants together? I love my friends and family. Sigh. Life is just GOOD.

Baby Showers

How is it possible that I love to organize things, but get so stressed out...like working on this baby shower for Molly. I'm TOTALLY excited to do it and I'm having fun with decorations and planning and all that, but, now that I'm down the cleaning of the house, grocery shopping, preparing food, and all the last minute things...I'm a bit worried. I'm sure it will be fine, but depending on other people to show up on time makes me crazy...
It'll be fine and I'll get some great photos to post and Molly will be super happy, I think. Here's hoping.:)
Off to clean the house!

Country Music

I may have said this before, but I absolutely love country music. It's such an honest genre and the people are so free and normal and I just love it. I love that Carrie Underwood & Brad Paisley got up there to present and did some fun little songs off the cuff about the events of the year. I love that they made one about Kanye West being such an idiot. I love that Taylor Swift is so tall and gangly and innocent and beautiful and that she won so many awards INCLUDING Entertainer Of The Year over ALL the guys! AND she invited her whole band up to receive the award with her! Now SHE is a role-model for all the young girls out there-not Miley Cyrus! I hope that Taylor stays innocent and doesn't get caught up in all the ridiculousness of fame and fortune because she is so cute and awkward...even when she's trying to be a cool performer: her opening performance for the CMAs was so adorable and hilarious!
I was sad to see Brooks and Dunn leave the stage-they were my first country love with "My Maria". But their final performance was awesome!

And I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of Kenney Chesney and Dave Matthews' performing together.

And I totally am in love with "People are Crazy" by Billy Currington.

Country Music is beautiful.

Winter

Today was the first day of real snow in Maine, and, as I remember, the weather man didn't know what was going on.:) He said the snow would flurry on the coast through the night tonight, but it was spitting snow when I walked out the door this morning at 5:15am.:) It was neat to drive to work with the snow flying at me-I was much less nervous than I thought I would be. I remember always feeling like I had knots in my stomach every time it snowed when I had to drive to school! The snow stopped about 9am and then started up in HUGE, wet flakes when I started home around 3:30pm. Snow is strange, though, because the flakes were HUGE at Lowes, in Brunswick and the ground was very wet and the temp was 34, so I was worried about the roads getting slick, but, by the time I got to Bath (a 6 mile drive) it was raining and 35.
The moral of the story is-there is no reason to freak out, just take it as it comes and drive slow. Still no snow on the ground, so no photos yet, but they'll come. It's my first winter home in Maine in a long time, so I am sure I'll be photographing A LOT of snowy scenes.:)

MAYBEs

So, it's been an interesting transition into Fall...it's the first time I've done it in a really long time and I'm not sure if how I'm feeling is because of the difference there or because of all the things that are going on right now or what...I don't really feel like any of the things that we are thinking about are stressful, but I do wonder if maybe my body is responding to the stress even if my mind doesn't. I've got the stress in my shoulders and the urge to eat junk and my shaking has gotten worse again. Is it the change of seasons? Or is it: 1) Maybe going to school next year? 2) Maybe moving to Orono to GO to school? 3) Maybe having to transfer to the Brewer store if I move to Orono? 4) Maybe buying a house in the spring? 5) Maybe having to drive further than I originally planned to work every day if we DO buy a house? 6) Maybe having to drive to school and take 5 years for a 2 year program? 7) Maybe having Robert travel to work...4 months on 2 months off? 8) Maybe because winter is on its way and I'm nervous about driving in the snow? 9) Maybe because I'm not getting very motivated to workout at all? 10) Maybe because I'm not a very confrontational department manager and I just want to yell at my guys and MAKE them do what I tell them to sometimes? 11) Maybe because Robert's parents are visiting this week? 12) Maybe because I don't KNOW where I really want to buy a house and I'm frightened by all the factors that come with buying one? 13) Maybe because I DON'T want to move to Orono to go to school? 14) Maybe because I might LIKE to transfer to another store but there aren't any in areas that I LIKE? 15) Maybe I JUST DON'T KNOW... That's a lot of maybes...but I'm not going to have an answer to many of them for MONTHS and I have to be okay with that. I feel like I'm okay with it but I DO still have the stress in my shoulders and that fluttery almost excited feeling in my stomach almost all the time. Hmmm. It's interesting to think about.

Canceled Shows

Everyone knows that I am a movie and TV freak. I've accepted it as a creative outlet for me instead of looking at it as laziness and addiction to media.:) I have friends who don't even have a TV or who have gone without Cable for a whole YEAR. I'm just not that person and it's okay. Through my love of all that is the Media Today I have just recently been re-visited by a bunch of shows that I really enjoyed, but that have been canceled for one reason or another. WHY have they been canceled? WHAT about them wasn't good enough? I, personally, think that many of them could come back today-in the time of summer seasons as well as fall seasons-and live a full and exciting life. This is so sad because some of these shows were just so GOOD and actually had a lot of depth to them. Such as:

"Tru Calling"-a show about a woman who works at the morgue and finds dead people asking her for help and then gets her day re-wound so that she can try to save them Eliza Dushku is the star of this show as Tru (I feel a connection here not only because I LOVE Eliza, but because TRU is my favorite name for a girl and has been for 10 years) and has a great supporting cast that included Jason Priestley half way through the season. Still, the show didn't make it more than one season in 2003.






"Miracles"-this one stars Skeet Ulrich (of SCREAM original fame) and Angus McFadyen (YA YA SISTERHOOD) as searchers for Miracles. Skeet's character has been touched by God in a way that he can't explain-seeing "God is Now Here" formed from his own blood (this is called Hemography) where others who have experienced this have seen "God is Nowhere". The show only made it one season in 2003-TODAY I think it could have made it. This show was produced by the same guy who produced "Angel" and "Buffy", which were much more successful.








"Dark Angel"- this show was Jessica Alba's launching pad. It's about a young genetically engineered girl who escapes from the lab that she grew up in to live a life as a fugitive from the secret army people who made her in the post "pulse" world of 2020 in Seattle. She teams up with "Eyes Only" who is a vigilante trying to expose all the bad people who have found a footing in the mess that is the world of the future. It's all sci-fi and action with a little bit of heart and it was a great show! It made it 2 seasons in 2000 and 2001. Still, there was no real end to the show.








"Jericho"- a much more recent show of 2006 and 2008 this one is a trip because the fans actually protested enough to bring the show back after it was canceled at the end of the first season. It came back in 2008 with the same cast and a continuation of the original plot-a post-nuclear United States trying to start over again after all the major cities have been bombed by some unknown group/source. The 2nd season ended with some resolution, but lots of unanswered questions. I really wish they would bring this one back! It was an AWESOME show and pretty realistic, actually. Great ensemble cast too- Skeet Ulrich, Ashely Scott, Gerald McCraney, Pamela Reed, and many more.






"Firefly" - Another of Joss Whedon's shows ("Buffy", "Angel", "Dollhouse") this one brings together sci-fi and fantasy into one with an awesome cast and a great storyline of a world of the future that has transportation between planets and a bit of an old world Western feel to it. The show was canceled after the first season, but, once again, fans won out and the show was turned into a movie so that we could get some resolution. The movie-SERENITY-has all ready become a cult classic and did help relieve the tension of questions unanswered, but we all still miss what could have been a good 9 year run. Instead it only lasted through 2002.

The list goes on and on with Sci-fi and fantasy losing out more often than not, but there are regular dramas and comedies that get canceled as well. It hurts my creative side to see such good material go to waste, but, I know it will keep happening again and again. At least they will live on in our memories and on DVD.:)

Choices

We have been in Maine for 6 months now and I have finally cycled back to the dilemma that I always felt hanging over me in MS...I miss my family. THIS time it's my SOUTHERN Family instead of my Northern Family, though. How do I make this work? Here in Maine I am closer to the people I have known and loved the longest and more of them, I think, but I still feel this little bit of a rip-a disconnection between me and those that we left behind in the South and it hurts.

Am I just overly sensitive to these feelings or am I just really bad at handling them? I want to spend hours making sure that my nieces and nephews remember me, but I don't really know what to say. It's so different having to talk on the phone or through e-mail instead of in person. It's just not that same. I miss Janet and Perry and Dad and Lisa and Middle Earth and Laura and Lily and Natalie and Jan...there's so much and just so little time. I Feel like if I come to grips with this and accept it then I am not trying hard enough, but if I don't accept it then I am stuck and in emotional limbo.

I really do think I'm one of those hyper sensitive people and this is why it is hurting me so much, but I just wish that there were a way to relieve some of the disconnection.

Was it the right choice to move away from the South because there are more people I missed here? Or were there more people down South who needed me? How do I know I'm making the right choices?

Friends

I know this is a horrible thing to say or even think, but sometimes I truly feel like I have too many friends. Now, don't get me wrong because every single one of my hundreds of friends are wonderful in all their own ways and there's nothing wrong with them or having them, it's just that sometimes I feel so very overwhelmed:


with staying in contact with them
keeping up on the stories of their lives
comforting them
letting them know that I care
sending birthday cards
going to weddings and showers
remembering girlfriends' or boyfriends' names
and sometimes even remembering what state they live in these days...

the list goes on and on. We all know that I am just one of these people who LIKES to care, who THRIVES on caring, but now that I am home and I am so close to so many of those people I had lost touch with I am finding it hard to fit them all in. I feel horrible because I haven't texted Liz to see how she is recovering from her breakup, or texted Molly to make sure she's not freaking out about her pregnancy, or Heather to see how her first week of work went...and then there's planning Molly's baby shower and spending time with mom and driving to see Linda because she is so sick and remembering that Diana and Bryan and Rhea are only here for the summer and I STILL haven't spent time with any of them. OH and was it really 2 months ago that Jessica, Scottie, Robert and I had dinner and promised to do it again soon?!

I just feel like I am being pulled in so many directions! And I feel so bad that I'm not being that best and awesome friend that I always used to be. Emily says that, if they really needed me, they would call ME....so I shouldn't worry and should only do what I can and not stress about it, but, when I need someone the most, I always felt guilty asking them for help so I wouldn't call them. I want to be the one that reaches out, remembers, and helps!

Being married makes it so very different because, despite my love for all my friends and family, my life with Robert comes first...and work gets in the way a lot too. Really, all I want to do is spend time with my 5 best girl friends, my husband, and my 4 cats, and maybe go out a couple times a month to experience something new. Is that so much to ask?

The problem I'm having is letting GO of that feeling of guilty that I can so easily fall into...
but, really, THEY aren't calling me either, are they?

A husband, a husband, why did I think I didn't want a husband?

Today my friend Liz came over to get some support after another breakup. I love her and it's so hard to see her sad and see another boy lose such a wonderful girl. In her wonderful way she called me on her way home to tell me how lucky I am, how much she loves my husband, and what a great cook he is...and I KNOW. I really, really know how lucky I am to have him despite his quick temper and his lack of patience in so many situations.:)

Case in Point: Robert came home from a night with his friends from work a couple of Fridays ago and sat down to tell me how much he loved me, to cuddle me in bed, to make sure that I was happy, that we always talk about everything, that we are never going to be one of those couples who is married, but not in love...and it was so wonderful to see that side of him-to know that he thought about it too-to know that he is willing and wanting to do everything it takes to be with me and for the both of us to be happy! We stayed up until 2am that night because we couldn't stop talking...if we can do that 2 years in it's a good sign, isn't it? Even if we ARE a chubby couple...at least we're happy.:)

Hot and Cold

Literally...We have, after 2 weeks of heat, fallen back into 70 degree days and 45 degree nights of wonderful, humidity free weather...
I love living here because we have had 2 weeks of heat, but it has been bearable enough to NOT have to bring the AC out....can anyone down South imagine NOT using an AC for an entire summer? Especially when living with Robert? BUT we have done it and it has been so great. I come home and open my windows and just let the breeze go through! I was, really, only miserable for 3 days out of the entire summer because it was too hot...and I really only had to go sit on the patio to cool off. This, subsequently, made me realize that we need a storm/screen door on the back of the house so that we can ventilate through the ENTIRE house instead of just the front. My neighborhood is definitely safe enough for us to leave screens open while we are home, thank goodness.
This epiphany coincided quite well with the meeting with the landlords on re-signing our lease. We invited them over to take a look at the house-which they didn't even want to do, but I insisted (much to the chagrin and flurry of Robert because he felt we aren't clean enough, but that's a whole other story)...so they came over and they LOVED the way we have set up the house and are taking care of it-were willing to sign the lease for whatever we wanted! They are ready to sell us the house if we want it! And they were PERFECTLY willing to buy us a very nice Pella storm door for our back door.:) Awesome, right? RIGHT.
Robert installed the new door today with the help of myself and the coaching of our wonderful friend Liz while she sunned herself on our porch.:) It was a great day and only 1 claw has touched the screen so far, which is good. I don't see us ever buying this house in THIS neighborhood, but I am SO looking forward to living here for another year...
I've got my patio, my swing in my backyard, my storm door, my windows I can open, and my wonderful husband and cats to keep me company and keep me warm on these COOL August nights of 45 and 50 degrees.
What MORE could I ask for?

"Emparting Wisdom" - Yeah, I can do that!

As my little sis Lindsey the Younger said, "You're in town? Emparting Wisdom?" Yes, yes I was. I was asked, along with a group of other interesting and successful graduates of Lincoln Academy, to speak to the incoming Freshman class about my experiences at Lincoln, in life, and give advice if I had any. I was pretty frightened by the idea at first, but I was honored to be asked, so I took the day off of work and it was probably the best thing I have done in a very long time.
Not only did I get to see some folks I hadn't seen for a while-teachers, classmates, etc...but I also found myself seeing my life through the eyes of these kids. Young, impressionable, and SO curious these kids were. I was so amazed by their honesty, their willingness to speak up and just ASK. We sad there in a row in front of 140 impressionable young minds who were actually willing to come and talk to us...I felt like it was really a turnaround from the kids I've seen in town, in the world lately! Mr. Walsh, my old English teacher and now DEAN of the Faculty, says that this is the class that is going to make the difference-there is something about these kids that is different and reminds him of the kids who were at Lincoln when WE were there...and I really felt like he was right.
We got questions from all across the board:
"What did you like most about high school?"
"Why did you choose Lincoln Academy?" (Lincoln is a private school, but is an option for kids from the 6 surrounding towns because of the lack of a central high school for some of those towns)
"What do you regret not doing?"
"Did Style play a big part in your high school experience?"
"Are you where you thought you would be when you were in High School?"
I jumped at this last question because it was exactly what I wanted to speak to... yes, I had answers to a lot of other questions too (Join clubs, don't limit yourself, remember everyone else is just as scared/uncomfortable as you are, Maine is awesome, Lincoln Academy IS one of the best schools in the state, etc). But, THIS, this question about direction and expectations, it was MINE. I left Lincoln Academy on the path the fame and art in the world of photography-starting out it New York and ending up in school in Maine, deciding photography wasn't my thing, moved to 4 different states, met my husband, did 5 different jobs...and eventually ended up liking working for a big corporation where I had great health insurance and sold things I would never have thought to sell in a million years...but I am doing something I am good at: Managing people. And, I may not be ANYWHERE near where I thought I would be, but I am HERE, I am happy, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without the variety of influences I had in high school and in life. And that's OK. Saying this to these kids, being completely honest, and telling the story as a whole for the first time...it really made me HAPPY about where I am. It made me like who and where I am. It made me okay with being chubby and being different and it even made me okay with being the least educated out of all the people on the panel I was sitting on. I am nothing like I thought I would be and maybe less than I thought I would want to be, but I'm me and I'm happy! I AM HAPPY!
I had kids coming up to me and asking me questions about my People to People experience and my photography and why I chose not to do it as a career, I had the entire audience laughing and smiling and getting along...and watching 2 of my best friends, sitting next to me, and inspiring these kids too was just an awesome experience.
Becca made me laugh the most-the things she said:
"I regret not taking a shop class. Girls, just do it. You'll NEED it!"
"Look to your left, right, in front, and behind...because any one of these people could be your best friend, lab partner, classmate, and so much more...and every one of those people around you are just as uncomfortable in their skin as you are no matter how put together they look on the outside."
INSPIRING. And that's it. We WERE inspiring. I WANT to be inspiring to younger folks...I'm just not sure how to do it. BUT I'm going to start with my Little Mark.
When all the little kids walked in to the gymnasium I did a double take when I saw my Little Mark walk in with FRESHMAN! This is a boy who was in Summer Camp with me when I was doing my Americorp time at Morris Farm. We bonded because he was just so little and charming and wonderful. I went to see him ride his dirtbike. We had dinner whenever I came home from Mississippi, he even came to our wedding...and then we lost touch and I was so sad, but I figured that he was doing boy things and growing up and away from me. But NO! When we had intermission from the session he came right up to me and gave me a big hug and said he missed me and that he still has the photo of us up on his fridge! So, now we have each other's phone numbers and I AM going to stay in contact and be a good influence in his life-unlike either of his parents. And I'm SO happy to have him back!
So, here I start with my Inspiring...we'll start with Mark, but I WILL find another way. I Just have to figure out what I'm good enough at that I can apply to a high school setting. Right? There's got to be SOMETHING. I remember this part of me and I hope I have the energy to bring this ME out again!
Have I mentioned how great life is?

Bikini/Booze Cruise 2009

SO, I have an awesome life! I went out on a boat on Damariscotta River with Emily, Boo, Jessi, and Rhea for 6 hours on a gorgeous Saturday before Hurricane Bill came through on Sunday. We had crazy Larry for our Captain and wonderful Christian for our Cabana Boy:). I love my life. I really, really do...the only thing that would have made it perfect would have been to have Heather and PJ along for the ride...but that day will come soon, I hope. Just a few photos to share: I'm posting the nude ones here, so be prepared...maybe I'll make a slide show even!
Have I mentioned how great my life is?!

Dad and Lisa visit

Apparently I'm a terrible blogger...I will probably be awesome at it this winter when I have nothing to do and Robert is down South earning money and enjoying the warmer weather...but for now I guess it will be just intermittent.

So, Dad and Lisa came to visit! Our first real guests to use our guestroom and to create a bathroom system that would keep us from walking in on each other due to the 1 bathroom and the lack of a lock on the original old door.:) I think I'm going to make a really professional little sign and laminate it.:)

We had a relaxing visit-dad and Lisa wisely split their time between us, cousins, and aunts and uncles which lead to no one being too overwhelmed and me not feeling bad because I couldn't take time off from work due to the necessity of having to do 2 overnights while dad and Lisa were here! PHEW! There was lots of seafood eaten and lots of visiting and just a lovely time had by all. PS: I Love my dad: look at this photo of him with the lobster!

It was awesome to see the Rockland Family all together...Robert and I have officially met all the new family members except for Kathryn and the kids (Corey's wife). What a relief that is! It still amazes me how easily Robert steps into a group because, we all know it, the Kalloch family is strong willed, opinionated and loves to get attention...I wasn't sure how this would go over, but, apparently 70% of the family is Republican, so Robert got along with them just fine and talked about other stuff with all the Crazy Tree Huggers who are like me.:) I forget how much fun it is to have such a large family sometimes. Why do we always remember the negative things over the positive? Like, why do I always think about how Mom and Amanda don't get along when, really, they will get along just fine in a family setting? I need to be more positive because I just had so much fun with everyone...seeing how they have grown and changed (mostly for the better!) and come into their own in life. It's great to see how everyone has accepted Cassie for her choices in life, to see Nikki finally ready to settle down, to see Michael deservedly happy with a beautiful wife and (almost) 2 children...life is good.
So, it's been a tiring, but lovely week.

Goodbye Bud

I just want to make a note here so I remember (I am depending on this blog to keep me in the know later on in life).

Buzz (my mom's boyfriend of many years and father to my childhood best friend Whitney) had to deal with the death of his mother, Bud, a couple of months ago. She was cremated so that her ashes could be spread in the ocean as well as some of them buried in the cemetary in New Harbor with a headstone. Bud was a crazy, opinionated, pushy, wonderfully caring woman whom I found to be a presence in my life at all family gatherings and things in the last 10 years. She was short and round and jolly and a gossip and she loved her grandchildren and children fiercely. She was amazing...my fondest memories of her are from of late when she and Nam would sit on the couch at family gatherings and admire their growing broods and gossip about people they knew while wearing their wonderfully embroidered grandmother sweaters and flowy grandmother pants with their short grandmother haircuts and glasses.
Bud will be missed, but always remembered...which she made sure of by providing for a lunch at the Samoset (to give business to my mom's place of employment) for her grandmotherly friends and providing a Lobster Bake at Reny's Lobster in Round Pond for all her family...and it was all in her will.
So thoughtful and wonderful she was. It was also great to see all the Ropes family again and for Robert to meet the extended family, because, really, they ARE all like family since Whitney, Alec, Luke, and I grew up as friends...and also because, see if you can keep this straight:
BEFORE mom and Buzz got together (although they WERE first since they dated when mom was in high school) my uncle Adam and Buzz's sister Claudia had been dating. So, not only did their kids grow up together, but mom and Buzz's siblings have been dating each other for about 5 years longer than mom and Buzz have been together! Crazy, huh?

The 4th of July in Maine!

Somehow I managed to get the 4th off from Lowe's...don't know HOW I did it, but I took it and I'll take it again next year if I can.:) We made a great weekend of it, even if I DID have to work on Sunday (which was pointless, BTW because it was SO slow). We went out to Schooner on Friday night to meet up with Boo and Lee even though I was totally exhausted (even after a 3 hour nap). It was good, though...Robert got to be social and I saw my old friend Muffy (among other people). It was fun. Spent the night at mom's, left for the Round Pond Parade at 11am with Pj. NOTE: I don't think many people understand the love I have for the Round Pond Parade. Up until I was 22 I went to the Round Pond Parade EVERY year. I haven't been in 5 years! The parade is basically a free-for all for crazy people, political zealots, restaurants and businesses advertising, kids just wanting to dress up, old cars, etc...anyone can enter a float in the parade-all they have to do is show up.:) As my friend Becca said, "I didn't realize how many people just kinda jump in and join the parade as it goes along.":) LOVE IT! This was Robert's first RP Parade and I was totally psyched to show him how awesome it was.

Things have changed a bit tho...no more parking on the side of the road wherever you can find a spot-they actually put up signs so you can't park! We had to drive all the way up to Buzz's little house on Back Shore to park...but that was fine because it was a GORGEOUS day with lots of sun, but no bugs and not too hot. We got a pretty good spot on the King Row lawn and Robert managed to acquire his own personal commentator in a summer person who happened to be standing by and heard Robert's accent.:) That's always how it is with Robert.:) The parade wasn't nearly as good as it used to be in the past, but it was still creative and entertaining with a little political flare, much more patriotism, and some good humor. Many of the same people who have always done it were still in it and Robert is all ready planning on becoming one of the regular RP Parade floaters.:) It was great! Getting OUT of RP after the parade was a disaster, but riding along with the top down blasting Luke's music makes it a lot easier to wait in traffic.:) Especially when Luke grabbed on and rode up the hill with us. HA!

We had some good food at mom's and spent some quality time with PJ, which I really needed: we watched some of our old videos of the plays we were in in Junior High and that highly entertained Robert, let me tell you!

And, finally, the day ended with the fireworks in Damariscotta, which we were able to watch from Emily and Nick's boat which was TOTALLY awesome. I've never watched fireworks from a boat before and, even just parked at Schooner Landing, it was great to watch them from there! And then all we had to do was walk back up the docks to Schooner to hang out with our friends for the rest of the night...it was great fun, greatly entertaining, awesome to see all my old friends I hadn't seen yet...I think we have really made some awesome re-connections with people and Robert feels really comfortable with all my friends. It makes me so happy that he is finally able to meet everyone and connect the names with the faces! It was a a great day and night and the fact that, once we DID leave (just before the bar closed at 1 am) all we had to do is walk to the car behind DB&T because we were lucky enough to get a parking space downtown. Awesome! I'll try to put together a slide show once I get the photos organized.:) Otherwise they're in Kodakgallery for viewing, of course:).

The Arootsakoostik Festival and Northern Maine

So, I had all these witty things I wanted to say about our trip up North, but it's been so long and so busy that I just can't remember any of it now.:) We DID have fun, though, despite the endless rain that Maine has been seeing lately. It rained for about 3/4 of the weekend that we were up there, but, luckily, the people who set up the Arootsakoostik Festival had tarps hung from trees and the sun DID come out for Luke and Katy's performance, which let me shoot about 150 photos of them in true Daylight, which has never happened before. I loved it! Robert and I did something we don't usually do by trusting Luke and Katy to get us a free camping site next to them with the rest of the bands (Luke said, "Besides, it's COOL to camp with the bands..." HA!). I told Robert it was a completely unpredictable situation and he said that was FINE, so, when we got there, drove down a long, bumpy, deep puddled road (in the VW) to a big field with a small area that had been bush-hogged out of a large field for our camping use and he said, "This isn't a camping area"...well, I didn't hit him over the head like I wanted to.:) We made the best of it, put our tent up in the dark (THAT was fun), realized we need to return our tent because we are OLD and don't want to crawl into a tent anymore, tried to sleep on the tiny air matress, and woke up to find out that my pee spot was about 5 feet from an actual pond/bog in the woods, and left the camp site at about 6am.:)

We DID find a great place for breakfast in Caribou (the ONLY place according to the gas station attendant) and we made the quick treck up to Fort Fairfield (FORT to the locals) to cross over to Canada with Luke and Katy. We had grand plans for buying beer and walking around, but, apparently, Canada does not have anything open before noon on Sundays, and, due to our early wakeup it was only 9am...and it was raining. So, we've been to Canada-where the highways and roads are totally weird and the signs are funny. I guess New Brunswick isn't the most exciting part of Canada to visit anyway.:)
Thoughts on Northern Maine:
I had NO idea there were THAT many potato fields in Maine!
I also had no idea tha there were so many wind turbines either...people have them in their backyards! That is so cool!
I love old houses and there are plenty of them up there...too bad there's NOTHING else to do up there.:)
Luke and Katy did a great job...too bad their sound guy sucked.
Funny story: Arootsakoostik is a new festival and, when we drove up, they informed us that they were 25 people over what they had last year...and there were probably about 60 people there total. HA!

Robert didn't have as much fun as I did, but I don't think he realized that Northern Maine means camping or hiking=excitement.:) And the rain didn't help much either (thank God for our new Bogg Boots from Reny's). Still, it was new for both of us and life experiences are all about the new:)

Northern Maine and the Arootsakoostik Festival

Don't have time to write just now, but here's a slideshow of our trip up North...more thoughts to come.:0